That's Me in the Searchlight
by Amicitia1
Summary: A Junior Friends of Humanity Club? And Kurt is Vice President? It's going to take some clever schemes to get out of this one. Some Kelly torture, BoM shenanigans, and vague imagined violence. Completed!
1. A Thousand Words

A/N: Yes! I own the characters, and the show, and YOU! Oh...never mind. It all belongs to real people with official copyrights and stuff. Too bad.  
  
**********  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kurt worried.  
  
"Come on, Kurt," Kitty dragged him down the hallway. "I'm like, not stupid enough to show a picture of us to anyone."  
  
That morning, Kitty had suddenly decided that the whole gang needed to assemble for a first annual X-Men group photo. She insisted that it be done in uniform. That meant the picture would include Kurt in all his fuzzy glory.  
  
"Line up!" the photograph-obsessed girl shouted as they reached the front lawn. "Tallest in back. You sit there." She pushed Kurt into the front row and went to set up the tripod.  
  
"Everybody smile!" Kitty called as she looked through the viewfinder. "Don't anybody dare mess this up!"  
  
Evan quickly removed Scott's bunny-ears.  
  
Kitty pressed the time-delay button and raced to get inside the frame.  
  
Click.  
  
**********  
  
Kurt fiddled with his locker. Stupid small numbers. There, it was open. He shoveled books into his backpack.  
  
"Kurt!" a shrill voice yelled in his ear.  
  
He spun around and slammed the locker door, accidentally catching his tail. He swore under his breath and tried not to look like he was in major pain.  
  
It was Kitty's friend Amy, holding a pencil and an enormous clipboard. "Hey," she said through a really stupid grin. "I'm starting a Junior Friends of Humanity club for Bayville High."  
  
The bottom of Kurt's stomach dropped out, which was interesting, since his stomach didn't usually seem to have a bottom.  
  
Either he was good at hiding all of this, or Amy was completely oblivious. "I'm collecting e-mail addresses so I can send everyone information," she continued. "Can I get yours?"  
  
'Better go along,' Kurt thought. 'Don't want to be an obvious opponent.'  
  
"B-a-m-f," he spelled, "at bayville dot org."  
  
"B-a-m-f," Amy repeated as she wrote. "What's that stand for?"  
  
"Brotherhood Against Mutant Fiends," Kurt invented quickly.  
  
"Awesome!" Amy gushed. "Can I use that as our chapter name? Thanks a lot!"  
  
Kurt was afraid she was going to try to kiss him, but fortunately she ran off down the hall. He continued stifling his scream of pain and started trying to open his locker again.  
  
Evan came around the corner and noticed the look of extreme anguish on his friend's face. "What's the matter, K-man?" he asked, leaning against the next locker.  
  
"Slammed my tail in the door," Kurt muttered back.  
  
"Ow..."  
  
"I already know that, dankeschoen."  
  
The locker opened. Kurt tried to rub his invisible appendage inconspicuously.  
  
The warning bell rang, and the two boys ran to their first classes. 


	2. The Face in the Picture

"Who else was bothered by Amy today?" Kitty growled as she stormed into the Institute after school.  
  
"Me."  
  
"Right here."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You really need to get new friends, Kitty."  
  
"Should we tell the Professor?"  
  
"Not much he can do about it, without making us look like mutant-lovers."  
  
"What worse fate could there be?"  
  
**********  
  
The next morning, Kitty skidded into the kitchen and hastily stuffed a piece of whole-wheat toast into her mouth.  
  
"Somethin' for ya there," Logan said without looking up from his newspaper.  
  
Scott honked from the driveway.  
  
Kitty grabbed the envelope in front of her chair and ran for the car.  
  
**********  
  
"Kurt!"  
  
Not again. He left his locker open as Amy ran towards him.  
  
"My friends love that name you came up with," she panted. "They think you should be Vice President. I'm President, of course."  
  
"Um..." This was quite the predicament. Give up a job most of the school was probably dying to have, or become a leader of an organization that was out to get him?  
  
"Of course you want the position," Amy jabbered on. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to ask. See you later!"  
  
She disappeared into the crowd.  
  
**********  
  
At her locker, Kitty opened the big white envelope.  
  
"Oh no..." she breathed. It was the group photo. She moved to stuff it into her locker, but someone caught her arm.  
  
"I love pictures!" Amy squealed. "Let me see!"  
  
"Like, no!" Kitty fought her off. "It's private!"  
  
Unfortunately, everyone's business was Amy's business. She tore the picture out of Kitty's hand and looked down at it with an enormous grin.  
  
Her face quickly turned to stone. "I'm going to find out what that is," she said quietly, "and it is going to be the subject of the first BAMF meeting." She took the picture and walked away. 


	3. Lunchtime Fun

"I am sooo sorry!" Kitty wailed as she approached the gang's usual lunch table.  
  
"What's the matter, Katzchen?" Kurt looked at her with concern as she sat down.  
  
"I accidentally brought the picture to school, and Amy saw it!" Kitty cried. "I'm so stupid! You can, like, totally kill me now!"  
  
She looked at Kurt through watery eyes. His holographic face was pale.  
  
"Told you it was a bad idea," Scott shook his head.  
  
"Nobody wants to hear from you right now!" Jean told him angrily.  
  
"Amy saw you, Kurt," Kitty sniffled. "She's going to find out who you are."  
  
Kurt shook his head slowly. "Nein..." he said, thinking the problem through. "Amy made me Vice President. She'll want me to find out who it's a picture of. I'm going to have to point to somebody."  
  
**********  
  
Lance read the poster on the cafeteria wall. "Brotherhood Against Mutant Fiends, Bayville High chapter of Junior Friends of Humanity. First meeting this Wednesday after school in the gym."  
  
"They can't steal a brotherhood's name like that, yo," Toad complained.  
  
"Can't go Wednesday, busy, got a date with my mirror," Pietro said in that way that only he could.  
  
Lance shook his head. "We gotta be there," he said. "Anyone who doesn't show up without a real good reason will be an instant target."  
  
**********  
  
"Operation New Blue Demon is underway," Evan interrupted his humming of the "Mission: Impossible" theme long enough to say that much.  
  
Kurt felt terrible, despite the fact that he had just finished lunch. He was about to frame someone, and that person's life was going to suddenly not be a whole lot of fun.  
  
The pair entered the boys' bathroom and went into two of the stalls. If the restroom was as busy as usual after lunch, their plan would work. They waited quietly for someone to go into the third stall.  
  
Bingo. Kurt didn't know who it was, and really didn't want to. He felt bad enough without knowing whose life he was making miserable. He left his stall, stood in front of a sink, and turned off his image inducer.  
  
Some other boy came in, spotted Kurt instantly, yelled, and ran out. That was Kurt's second cue. He teleported away to a secluded corner of the school grounds.  
  
With perfect timing, the unwitting scapegoat came out of the middle stall and headed for the sink. Evan listened closely as the fourth boy burst back in with a gang of friends.  
  
The mob seemed to recognize the lone boy. "Demon!" shouted one of its members.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't play stupid," said another voice. "We saw you, Lander. You're finished."  
  
The group exited, leaving poor Lander to wonder what he had done wrong. Evan casually left the bathroom. Mission completed.  
  
**********  
  
Kurt wanted to die, but had enough sense to turn his hologram back on first. Slowly he walked back into the building. 


	4. Who Is It?

A/N: I've finished the story, so the rest of the chapters will be up soon. :) The following events take place on Tuesday.  
  
**********  
  
Last period, English class. Kurt applied himself to the comprehension questions to force the many problems of BAMF out of his head.  
  
He felt something poke him in the back, and turned around. Amy slipped him something under her desk. He turned back around to look at it.  
  
It was the photograph Kitty had taken. He looked good! 'Whoops,' Kurt thought. 'Not me. Somebody else.'  
  
"Find out what the blue thing is," Amy whispered over his shoulder. "Ask everybody. I'll get Principal Kelly."  
  
Kurt nodded weakly.  
  
**********  
  
It had almost been a quiet day, Kelly reflected. No earthquakes, no field equipment through the windows, and no otherwordly horrors. Then reports of the blue demon had flared up, and this girl was asking him if he knew who it was.  
  
He knew the identity of a certain other blue monster in the area, but the students weren't supposed to know too much about that. He had to admit, he hadn't yet figured out who the demon was.  
  
"So? Do you know?" The girl's annoying voice broke into his thoughts.  
  
"No," Kelly answered shortly. "But rest assured he is no threat to the security of the building and its occupants."  
  
The girl left, looking disappointed but determined.  
  
He really needed a new job.  
  
**********  
  
The bell rang, and Kurt was free to go home. That is, he was free to navigate the fear-inducing crowds in the hallways. So hard to keep that protective inch of space around himself...  
  
"Demons in the bathrooms," voices whispered all around him. The rumor was out of control already. One demon. One bathroom. One innocent life ruined. One miserable boy who deserved to get caught.  
  
"Jack Lander is the blue demon..."  
  
'I'm sorry, Jack Lander. I'm so sorry.'  
  
Amy caught up to him from who-knows-where. "Kelly doesn't know," she told him. "Did you find anything out?"  
  
"Yeah, I know who it is."  
  
"You rock, Kurt!" Amy bounced along beside him. "Who is it?"  
  
'Gott in himmel, forgive me my sins.'  
  
"Jack Lander."  
  
Amy could hardly contain herself. "Okay!" she said excitedly. "Meeting's tomorrow, don't forget!"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be there."  
  
Like he had a choice. 


	5. A Call to Order

For the first time ever, Kurt was hoping the dismissal bell wouldn't ring. Any class was bound to be better than the BAMF meeting.  
  
Unfortunately, the automated schedule was not particular interested in the problems of any one student. It wasn't interested in the problems of a group of students. In fact, it didn't believe in democracy at all. And so the bell rang, same as it always did.  
  
But today there would be no uncomfortable passing in the halls. Everyone was going the same direction, heading for the gym.  
  
Luckily Bayville High had a big gym, because within minutes the entire student body and a large percentage of the staff was gathered there. Most of the crowd settled into the bleachers, but Kurt headed into the middle of the floor, where Amy was standing behind one of two podiums.  
  
**********  
  
The original Brotherhood, still pondering the possibilities of suing for copyright infringement, stood along the far wall.  
  
"We never actually had no copyright," Toad pointed out.  
  
"Irrelevant!" Pietro waved away his friend's concern. "In this great country, anyone can sue anyone for anything. And win!"  
  
"Uncopyrightable is the longest English word that doesn't have any repeated letters," Fred commented.  
  
Toad and Pietro stared at him.  
  
Meanwhile, Tabitha was looking thoughtful. This did not escape Lance's watchful eye.  
  
"I would strongly advise against blowing anything up right now," he said so only she would hear him.  
  
"When did you become such a stick-in-the-mud?" Tabitha whispered back. "Been spending too much time with Shades?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
**********  
  
"Welcome to the first meeting of the Brotherhood Against Mutant Fiends!" Amy shouted into the microphone.  
  
The crowd cheered wildly. The X-Men in the stands did a reasonable impression of being happy to be there. No one really expected Lance and his friends to show enthusiasm or school spirit in any way, shape, or form.  
  
"You all know me of course, I'm the President!" Amy continued. "And our vice president is Kurt...um..."  
  
"Vaugner," he supplied.  
  
"Kurt Vaugner!"  
  
The crowd cheered again. "Way to go Blue!" Tabitha cat-called.  
  
Amy gave him a questioning look. Kurt made a crazy sign by his head.  
  
"Our first order of business," Amy announced after the noise subsided, "is the notorious Blue Demon of Bayville! I am happy to say he has been identified and caught!"  
  
Ear-splitting cheers filled the gym as Duncan Matthews dragged a small freshman into the room, escorted by several other members of the football team. Kurt averted his eyes as the boy was shoved behind the other podium amidst a hailstorm of booing.  
  
"Jack Lander, what do you have to say for yourself?" Amy demanded.  
  
"It isn't me!" the bespectacled student protested. "I'm not a demon! I've never even seen the Blue Demon!"  
  
"Tell it to the judge!" somebody yelled from the stands. This brought more cheering.  
  
"Take him away, Duncan!" Amy shouted over the din.  
  
She stepped away from the microphone and gestured for Kurt to say something.  
  
"Me? I didn't bring anything!" he panicked.  
  
"Then make it up!" Amy pushed him towards the podium. Luckily she only touched the back of his shirt. "The crowd will love you!"  
  
Until his secret got out, anyway.  
  
"Um, hi," he waved nervously. "Great way to open our club, huh?"  
  
Could he say anything that the crowd wouldn't cheer at?  
  
"So, you know, there's probably lots of mutants in Bayville, and I hope you all keep coming to the meetings until every single one is caught!" Kurt faked excitement.  
  
Amy relieved him of his duties then. "If you think you've identified a mutant, there's a box in the cafeteria where you can drop their name. Be careful, be watchful, long live humanity! Meeting adjourned!"  
  
The crowd dispersed noisily. The BoM shuffled out, complaining about how the new club was more popular than theirs. Kurt met up with his friends as they made their way down from the bleachers.  
  
"Not exactly an enviable job you got there," Scott commented.  
  
"Tell me about it," Kurt sighed. 


	6. The Plan

A/N: FanFiction.Net apparently doesn't allow the HTML code symbol things, so I used the () instead.  
  
From: "Amy" (populargal@bayville.org)  
To: "Kurt" (bamf@bayville.org)  
Subject: BAMF  
Date: Wed, 18 Apr 2001 17:04:21  
  
Awesome meeting Kurt! Can't wait until next week. :) Meet me in the cafeteria after school tomorrow and we'll see if anyone's dropped any names in the box. See ya!  
  
-Amy  
  
Kurt pushed back his chair. If it wasn't spam, it was annoying classmates. He hoped he wouldn't see any of his friends' names in the box.  
  
**********  
  
Amy put the tiny key in the lock and turned it. To her delight, she found many folded scraps of paper when she opened the lid. She and Kurt spent the next several minutes reading them. More than a few anonymous tipsters pointed to Scott. Maybe his "eye condition" story wasn't as convincing as he thought.  
  
"'Kurt,'" Amy read. "'He sounds really weird.'"  
  
"That doesn't make me a mutant," Kurt rolled his eyes. "That makes me German."  
  
Amy sighed. "Okay," she conceded. "So maybe our classmates aren't as observant as I'd hoped."  
  
'Or maybe they're just really prejudiced,' Kurt thought as he read the name of another underappreciated outcast.  
  
**********  
  
"We have to do something about this club," Kurt said when he got home. "Some of us were in that box."  
  
"Like, you're the Vice President. Do something," Kitty suggested.  
  
Evan sat up on the couch, with a gleam in his eye. "Sabotage from the inside!" he reeled off. "Mystery! Intrigue! Danger!"  
  
"Aren't you a little old to be playing Super Spy?" Rogue sighed.  
  
Evan ignored her. "Come on, K-man," he said. "I've got an idea!"  
  
**********  
  
Kurt lay on his bed while Evan scribbled diagrams at the desk, laughing maniacally every once in a while.  
  
"Okay, I got it," he finally announced. "You gotta run this thing, Kurt. Figure 1, we need Amy out of the picture." He showed his friend a sketch of a female stick figure with a big X over her.  
  
"So we're going to frame her messing up the principal's car," Evan continued, holding up a picture of what might have been a car, with an irate Kelly standing next to it.  
  
"Then she gets suspended," he flipped the page to display a drawing of the stick figure behind bars, "and that leaves you in charge."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
Evan sighed. "Do I have to explain everything? Then you start pointing fingers, pick out a few people no one will believe are mutants, everybody thinks the club is corrupt and they shut it down."  
  
"Ah." 


	7. Frame-work

A/N: Long chapter. A lot had to happen on Friday.  
  
**********  
  
"No way! I am not doing your dirty work for you!" Kitty protested.  
  
Kurt had hoped she wouldn't make this difficult. "You explain to me, Kitty," he said as they stood there in the parking lot during lunch time. "How am I supposed to hold the can and press down the nozzle?"  
  
It really bugged him sometimes. Why wasn't anything designed for people with three fingers? And they said lefties had it tough.  
  
"Ugh, fine," Kitty said, defeated by this logic. Kurt handed her the spray can.  
  
**********  
  
"Hey Speedy!" Evan called as he approached Pietro in a corner of the cafeteria.  
  
His old adversary eyed him suspiciously. "What do you want, Daniels?"  
  
"Whoa, I got no fight with you today," Evan held up his hands. "Just thought you might like to know, Lance is telling all the girls you've had plastic surgery."  
  
Pietro's eyes narrowed. "Where is he?"  
  
"By the big tree out front, last I saw him."  
  
Pietro stormed out of the room.  
  
**********  
  
Rogue put down her lunch tray and slid onto the bench next to Lance.  
  
He glanced at her. "Rejoining the Brotherhood?" he asked.  
  
"Nope," Rogue started to pick at her lunch. "Just wanted to tell you what's been goin' around."  
  
"I ain't interested in girly gossip," Lance turned his attention to his burger.  
  
"Not even if it's about Kitty?"  
  
If he had been in a bad cartoon, hearts would have appeared over Lance's head just then. "Fine, what is it?" he said, trying not to sound too interested.  
  
"Word is, Pietro's got eyes for your girl," Rogue said casually.  
  
Lance growled. "That kid is asking for it. Where is he?" he demanded.  
  
"Think he's out by the big tree," Rogue answered.  
  
Lance stormed out of the room.  
  
**********  
  
Lance and Pietro marched towards the old oak tree in front of the school, looking daggers at each other. They met in the shade and stared each other down.  
  
"So you think you can steal Kitty?" Lance said accusingly.  
  
"No, but if I did, I would charm her with my natural good looks!" Pietro spat.  
  
"Liar!" Lance screamed.  
  
"Slanderer!" Pietro shot back.  
  
"Two-timer!" Lance took a swing.  
  
"Ruffian!" Pietro ducked.  
  
That was all it took to get them brawling on the ground. Rogue rolled her eyes. "Boys..." she sighed.  
  
"Fight!" Evan shouted, turning towards the school. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"  
  
Every kid in the vicinity took up the chant. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" A crowd gathered rapidly around the screaming, wrestling heap that was Lance and Pietro.  
  
**********  
  
The hallway was empty, thanks to the free entertainment currently being provided in front of the building.  
  
"Quick, do it now," Kurt said, glancing up and down the corridor.  
  
Kitty phased the spray can into Amy's locker. "Okay, done," she said, pulling back her hands.  
  
The bell rang.  
  
**********  
  
Kelly walked out to the parking lot, twirling his key ring on his index finger. Ah, lunch time. One peaceful hour away from those crazy kids.  
  
He reached his car and stopped short. The silver compact was covered in red spray paint. Most of it was squiggles and other abstract designs. But, there on the windshield, in big letters, was some hooligan's honest opinion of Kelly, expressed in brief but colorful terms.  
  
The enraged principal stormed back to his office and slammed his fist on the intercom button.  
  
"Inspection!" he screamed into the microphone. "All students to their lockers NOW!"  
  
There was a rush and flurry of kids escaping from class. Kelly sat down and took an aspirin.  
  
**********  
  
Locker inspection was always frightening. Kelly really didn't want to see what those delinquent BoM kids had in their lockers, but since they were the most likely culprits, he started there. Fred had a mess of antique food. Pietro's door was plastered with mirrors. Lance's locker was filled with pictures of Kitty. Tabitha's locker had mysterious dents and char marks. Todd's contained a familiar looking green slime. Kelly made a note of that. No spray cans.  
  
Eventually he came to the locker of one Miss Amy I'm-Very-Popular-And-Never-Make-Trouble. She was looking very scared. Not surprising, because an empty spray can was sitting prominently on the top shelf of her locker.  
  
"Suspension!" Kelly yelled in a rage. "One week for defiling private property!"  
  
"But-" Amy protested.  
  
"You have five minutes to get off school grounds, or it'll be two weeks!" That was the end of that discussion.  
  
"And you!" Kelly shouted, turning to face the BoM, who had been following him around. "You two young men, I am aware of the incident outside. You will stay after school today and wash my car!"  
  
"But it's Friday!" Lance countered, as though this were a debate.  
  
"After the final bell has tolled on a Friday afternoon," Pietro began, as though reciting a passage.  
  
In fact, he was. The excerpt in question was statement 8b of "The Unethical Student's Bill of Rights", an ancient and much-revered manuscript which had been passed down from one group of high school delinquents to the next, and was currently in the possession of the Brotherhood.  
  
"What?" Toad said, obviously confused. "Who's the bell tollin' for, yo?"  
  
"For whom does the bell toll," Pietro corrected absently. "After the final bell has tolled on a Friday afternoon," he repeated, "no student's freedom shall be impinged upon by any involuntary school-related activities, be they detention, homework, sporting events, etc., until the following Monday morning."  
  
Kelly was not impressed. "You, parking lot, 3:00," he said, with an indisputable tone of finality. "Bring sponges."  
  
**********  
  
Lance and Pietro worked in silence for a while, each lost in their own fantasies of gory deaths for the other. However, Pietro's short attention span soon brought him to another train of thought.  
  
"You're just jealous," he said, out of the blue.  
  
"Jealous of what?" Lance grumbled, scrubbing at a particularly persistent design on the passenger door.  
  
"The perfection that is me, of course," Pietro answered as though this were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Get over yourself."  
  
The conversation was replaced by the annoying squeaking of the soapy sponges.  
  
"I have to know," Pietro broke in again. "Did you start that rumor, or were you just passing it on?"  
  
Lance threw down his sponge. "Why would I start a rumor that you like Kitty?" he said in exasperation.  
  
"What?" Pietro looked up in surprise. "Who told you that?"  
  
"Rogue told me at lunch!"  
  
"But-" Realization crept slowly over Pietro's face. "Daniels, I am going to kill you!" he screamed, slamming his fist on the hood of Kelly's car.  
  
Lance rolled his eyes. "Any particular reason this time?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"Try to keep up, Lance," Pietro said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Those X-brats spread some lies to set us up for a fight."  
  
"They are really asking for it now," Lance growled. A tremor shook the ground. Several car alarms went off.  
  
"I'm outta here." Pietro grabbed Lance's wrist and took off. 


	8. Dinner and Conversation

A/N: Sad elf alert! My poor fuzzy is not having a good weekend. Okay, so this whole story is just not going his way. I do like him! He's just so easy to torment...  
  
**********  
  
Ding dong!  
  
Evan slid down the banister and nearly crashed into the front door before opening it.  
  
Apparently, whoever was on kitchen duty didn't feel like cooking tonight and had decided to order Chinese food. The someone in question now owed Evan some money.  
  
He dropped the plastic bag on the kitchen counter and walked back to the front hall.  
  
"Guys!" he shouted up the stairs. "Chow!"  
  
Kitty was the first to show up, phasing in from who-knows-where. She heard an unmistakable *bamf* in the kitchen, followed by an enthusiastic whoop. Then came the sound of ripping paper, and a pause.  
  
"Huh?" Kurt's voice floated to her ears. "Vas ist das?"  
  
Kitty peeked around the doorframe. "They're chopsticks, Kurt," she explained. "Chinese people eat with them."  
  
Kurt held one in each hand and made stabbing motions.  
  
"No, silly," Kitty giggled, tearing open another red package. "Let me show you. You hold one between your thumb and first finger, like a pencil." She demonstrated, and Kurt imitated her. "Your second finger goes here. Then you pick up the other one and put your third finger under-"  
  
"Kitty..."  
  
"What?" she looked up. "Oh..."  
  
Kurt put down his chopsticks and turned away. "It's okay," he said dejectedly. "I'll get some bratwurst from the refrigerator later. German boys don't need Chinese food."  
  
Kitty stared at his back as he walked away.  
  
Why did she have to be so *stupid* all the time?  
  
**********  
  
As soon as she finished off the vegetarian dish someone had thoughtfully ordered for her, Kitty went upstairs and knocked on Kurt's door.  
  
"Ja?" came the muffled answer.  
  
"Can I come in?" Kitty called. "I need to talk to you."  
  
"Door's open. Not that it matters."  
  
Kitty phased in and sat next to Kurt on the bed. "Um..." she started awkwardly.  
  
"I know," Kurt said into his pillow. "You are sorry, you are very sorry, I don't mind."  
  
"Oh, Kurt!" Kitty burst into tears. "Why do you have to forgive me all the time?"  
  
Kurt sat up. "Why should't I?" he asked in confusion.  
  
"Because I'm such a horrible person!" she wailed. "You should teleport me to some wasteland and leave me there!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"I deserve it, Kurt! The chopsticks, and the picture, and remember how horrible I was to you when I first got here?"  
  
Kurt put his arms around her. "Kitty..." She sniffled and looked up at him. "I don't believe in holding grudges," he said softly. "If I remembered every bad thing anyone had ever done to me, then I wouldn't have had any room left to learn your name.  
  
"Also," he leaned over and reached into his backpack. "I wouldn't remember to give this back to you." He pulled out the photograph.  
  
"I'm going to go burn it," Kitty said, reaching for the picture.  
  
Kurt held it away. "I'm not going to give it to you if you talk like that," he said seriously.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts, Katzchen," he insisted. "Go frame it, and make a note so you don't forget to take another one next year."  
  
"Oh, you!" Kitty pushed him away, snatched the picture from his hand, and phased out of the room.  
  
**********  
  
You have received a message from PopularGal. Do you want to accept it? Yes/No  
  
Kitty hit the Enter key, and a new window popped up on her computer screen.  
  
PopularGal: Hey Kitty  
  
Kitty bent her fingers over the keyboard.  
  
Sprite: What do you want?  
PopularGal: I've been looking at that picture  
Sprite: I have the picture!  
PopularGal: I made a copy  
Sprite: You WHAT???  
PopularGal: several  
PopularGal: y are u and ur friends wearing those crazy clothes?  
  
Kitty needed a good lie. Quickly.  
  
Sprite: It's a Halloween picture. We all wore matching costumes.  
PopularGal: y is Lander there?  
Sprite: He heard us talking about the picture in school and wanted to be in it.  
PopularGal: Didn't u notice he was blue?  
Sprite: He told us it was his costume.  
PopularGal: OK  
  
A pause.  
  
PopularGal: Where's my friend Kurt? Doesn't he hang out w/ u guys?  
  
*Whose* friend? Kitty had visions of socking Amy in the face and then killing her by phasing through some vital organs.  
  
Sprite: Yeah. He was off visiting his parents.  
  
There was a long pause. Kitty wondered if Amy's computer had crashed.  
  
PopularGal: I don't believe u. Something weird is going on. I'm going 2 find out what it is.  
PopularGal has signed off.  
  
Kitty threw herself onto the bed. Why was she cursed with this habit of messing things up? She closed her eyes and hugged her stuffed dragon tightly. 


	9. Getting into Trouble

A/N: Monday and Tuesday! Tomorrow, the end of the story. :)  
  
**********  
  
On Monday mornings, any excuse to delay going to class was a valid one. 'Too bad the teachers don't know that rule,' Evan thought as he leaned over the water fountain.  
  
Down the hall, Pietro was having a hushed argument with Tabitha.  
  
"Do it!" he insisted.  
  
"What's in it for me?" Tabitha crossed her arms.  
  
"You're impossible!" Pietro threw up his hands.  
  
"Get me the answer sheet for tomorrow's history test," Tabitha demanded.  
  
"Deal."  
  
Tabitha rubbed her hands together and passed the resulting energy bomb to Pietro. "Run," she said simply.  
  
"Don't have to tell me twice!" he answered as he took off.  
  
**********  
  
Evan wondered if there was a world record for longest drink from a water fountain. He was probably setting a new one. As the hallway emptied around him, he felt a slight breeze. Something small and bright caught his eye.  
  
There was an explosion.  
  
Evan got hit in the head with the metal sink. When he recovered, he found himself sitting in a puddle of rapidly rising water. A crumpled piece of paper was stuffed in his fist.  
  
He unfolded it. "Explosions By Pietro," it read. "It was my explosion, you jerk," declared a smaller scrawl in the corner.  
  
"Care to explain?" said a voice above him. Evan looked up into the face of an exasperated Principal Kelly.  
  
"I didn't do it!" he said quickly.  
  
"Really," sighed the principal. Evan gave him the note.  
  
Kelly scanned over the sloppy handwriting. Explosions. Demons, monsters, earthquakes, and now explosions. He really needed a new job.  
  
**********  
  
Pietro sauntered into the principal's office. He was used to being summoned by the PA system. Nothing to worry about.  
  
He made himself comfortable in the chair opposite the desk. Kelly threw a wadded-up scrap of paper at him.  
  
Pietro smoothed it out and recognized it instantly. "Ah," he nodded. "How came you to be in possession of my business card?"  
  
"Daniels," Kelly said shortly.  
  
"Wonderful!" Pietro sat up. "He liked my work so much he referred me to his friends!"  
  
"So you admit to this?" Kelly rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Admit to what?" Pietro defended with the I-don't-know-anything technique.  
  
"Blowing up a drinking fountain," Kelly sighed. "Did you do it?"  
  
Pietro pondered some technically-true answers. "I may have assisted with the job," was the response he finally settled on.  
  
"Did you have, er, a business partner?" Kelly hoped to get answers by playing along.  
  
"Indeed!" Pietro looked proud of himself.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Miss Tabitha Smith, demolition expert," he answered with an air of introducing a very important person.  
  
"And-"  
  
"Sorry," said Pietro, glancing at his watch. "I gotta go."  
  
Kelly was taken completely by surprise, a situation which really shouldn't have been happening to him any more. "What?"  
  
"I have to go now," Pietro repeated. "I have to steal some test answers from the history office before Mrs. Hawkins gets back from watching the in-school suspension kids."  
  
Principal Kelly was struck dumb as his charge calmly exited the office.  
  
**********  
  
Tabitha sat and put her feet up on the principal's desk.  
  
"Get your feet off my desk," Kelly growled.  
  
She put her feet on the floor and shifted her position, putting her head in her hands and resting her elbows on the desk instead.  
  
Kelly gave up on the posture issue and moved ahead to the more important problems.  
  
"Miss Smith," he said heavily, "did you, or did you not, blow up a drinking fountain this morning?"  
  
"Yes," Tabitha answered.  
  
"Yes what?" Kelly prompted.  
  
"Yes, I blew up your stupid drinking fountain," she clarified.  
  
"And what did you hope to achieve by this?" the principal pressed.  
  
Tabitha rolled her eyes. "World peace," she stated.  
  
"Now, really!" Kelly said loudly, growing very agitated. "What was the meaning of this explosion?"  
  
"It means Pietro told me to blow up the fountain, and I did," Tabitha explained patiently.  
  
There was a knock at the door, and the secretary peeked in. "Plumber's bill," she said, holding up a very long piece of paper.  
  
Kelly waved Tabitha out of his office and took two aspirins.  
  
**********  
  
Kurt was studiously attempting to copy a printed exercise into a word processing document when he was interrupted by a cry of "Mr. Wagner!"  
  
He looked up to find Mr. Sims hovering over him. "Mr. Wagner," the teacher said again, "would you *kindly* touch-type like the rest of us? Why *do* you insist on permanently displaying the Vulcan symbol like some crazed Star Trek fan?"  
  
Kurt wasn't sure what Star Trek was, but he understood the point of the lecture. "It's, er, stuck-finger syndrome," he explained. "My hands don't move right."  
  
"Really." Mr. Sims moved to investigate the validity of this statement.  
  
Kurt jerked his hands away. "I also have, um, issues with personal space," he said quickly.  
  
Mr. Sims moved away, and made a mental note to check both of these things with the health office.  
  
**********  
  
While the teacher was distracted by Kurt's complete lack of typing skills, Pietro took the opportunity to sneak onto the Internet. A box immediately appeared on his screen.  
  
You have received a message from PopularGal. Do you want to accept it? Yes/No  
  
Pietro slid his mouse across and clicked the 'Yes' button.  
  
PopularGal: Pietro?  
RunningArt: Yeah, who's this?  
PopularGal: Amy  
RunningArt: What's up?  
PopularGal: r u in any classes with Kurt?  
RunningArt: You're in luck, I am right now. Why?  
PopularGal: I think there's something weird about him.  
  
'News flash!" Pietro thought sarcastically.  
  
RunningArt: What do you mean?  
PopularGal: I think he's hiding something  
RunningArt: Like what?  
PopularGal: Can u keep a secret for a little while?  
RunningArt: Yeah.  
RunningArt: What have you got?  
PopularGal: Wow, u type fast  
RunningArt: I know.  
PopularGal: OK...I think Kurt is the real Blue Demon  
RunningArt: Why do you think that?  
PopularGal: I have a picture of a bunch of his friends  
PopularGal: but he's not in it  
PopularGal: but the demon is  
RunningArt: Wow.  
PopularGal: What do u think?  
RunningArt: I'm convinced.  
PopularGal: I need more proof though  
RunningArt: No problem.  
RunningArt: Leave it to me.  
  
Pietro thought it was great fun to leave people hanging. He logged off before Amy could reply.  
  
**********  
  
A/N: Hey reviewers, what should I write next? I'm thinking about (A), a Kurt history, (B), a Kurtty sort of thing, or (C), an OC party. Click the big blue button to vote now. 


	10. Sometimes You Have To

A/N: The events of Tuesday and Wednesday.  
  
**********  
  
Tabitha took a seat in the back of the room and pulled out the answer sheet Pietro had given her. Mrs. Hawkins came in from the hallway and clapped her hands to get the class's attention.  
  
"Everyone in your seats!" she said loudly.  
  
There was a screeching of chairs against the tiled floor. Tabitha noticed that everyone sat as far away from Jack Lander as possible.  
  
"Pencils out, notes away," Mrs. Hawkins ordered. "You have until the end of the period." She began to pass out the test papers. "Notes away, Miss Smith," she repeated as she passed Tabitha's desk.  
  
"They're not notes," Tabitha said matter-of-factly.  
  
The teacher took a closer look. "Miss Smith, this is the answer sheet!" she exclaimed.  
  
Tabitha nodded and picked up her pencil to begin the exam. Mrs. Hawkins took the answer sheet and the test. "You get an automatic F for cheating!" she said angrily. "You will spend the rest of the period in the detention room!"  
  
Tabitha shrugged, picked up her backpack, and left.  
  
**********  
  
The lone BoM female plopped into her usual seat in the detention room. "Hey, Tabby," said a familiar voice behind her.  
  
She turned around. "Hey, Toad," she sighed. "What are you here for?"  
  
"Man, they busted me for adding a little slime to whatever we was makin' in chemistry," Toad ranted. "Not *that* much stuff caught on fire, yo."  
  
"Mrs. Hawkins sent me for creative study habits," Tabitha answered the question Toad hadn't asked. "It's not like I stole those answers or anything."  
  
"Yo, I hate this place," Toad grumbled. "I wish somethin' interestin' would happen once in a while."  
  
**********  
  
Kurt suddenly despised Wednesdays. Normally he was pretty impartial towards the days of the week, but the BAMF meetings made him want to rip all the Wednesday pages out of his daily calendar. The rest of the school, on the other hand, seemed pretty enthusiastic.  
  
The usually slow middle-of-the-week day sped by in record time, and Kurt found himself standing once more behind the dreaded podium. Hundreds of faces looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Your President is unfortunately absent today," he began, "so I'm going to be running the meeting. I'm happy to say we've identified more of Bayville's mutants!"  
  
The crowd cheered, urging him on. Reluctantly, Kurt began to name the unpopulars who had shown up in the submission box.  
  
"Emily Parks is a mutant!" he declared. The crowd roared.  
  
"Mark Stengelberg, that weird junior, is one too!" Kurt continued. The audience's excitement spurred him on.  
  
"And so is Raquel Spinoza!" he shouted. "I can't believe I never noticed!" Kurt was thriving on the enthusiasm of his public. Against his will, he was almost enjoying himself.  
  
"And Quentin Blake, the kid on the math team!" It was times like this Kurt was thankful for his overactive imagination. "He was born with a calculator in his brain!" The crowd was really going wild, with the exception of their unlucky targets.  
  
"He's getting carried away again," Scott whispered to Jean. "This isn't going to end well."  
  
"We knew that from the beginning," Jean whispered back.  
  
"You'll never guess who else is a mutant!" Kurt yelled into the microphone. "Duncan Matthews!"  
  
The cheering was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of confusion. "I am not!" Duncan called from somewhere in the stands. "No one will believe that!"  
  
"Sure they will!" Kurt shouted back. "Come on, people! How could anyone play football that well without some kind of special powers?"  
  
The spectators seemed pretty unsure about this accusation. Kurt was disappointed about losing his audience until he reminded himself that this was the plan. Working a crowd was one of his skills, and he led them further into their uncertainty.  
  
"Amy, your President, is a mutant too!" he announced. "Isn't it brilliant? No one would ever suspect her!"  
  
That was enough. "No way!" said more than a few people.  
  
Suddenly, Kurt saw a blur of motion out of the corner of his eye. The next thing he knew, he was lying on the floor with Pietro sitting on top of him.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked in confusion.  
  
"Giving the people what they came for," Pietro sneered.  
  
Kurt saw what was coming. "I could take this somewhere more private," he said. It wasn't a suggestion, nor was it a threat. It was just a simple statement of fact.  
  
"Would that really be any better for your reputation?" Pietro laughed. "Disappearing with an innocent student?"  
  
It wasn't really a choice Kurt wanted to make, but Pietro didn't give him any time to weigh the options. In one smooth motion, he turned off the image inducer, stood up, and dragged Kurt to his feet.  
  
Some people gasped. Some screamed. Some shouted in anger. One came down from the stands and pushed Pietro.  
  
Kurt looked up. "Jack?" he said in surprise. "What are you doing?"  
  
Jack Lander looked at him, with no trace of fear or hatred in his eyes. "Helping you out," he said.  
  
"Why?" Kurt was even more confused. "After what I did?"  
  
"It's okay," Jack smiled. "I understand now.  
  
"Ha!" he shouted, turning to the crowd. "See the terrible curse I have put on Kurt Wagner, to make him turn into a demon like me!" The crowd roared in outrage.  
  
"But I see the evil of my ways!" Jack continued. He turned to Kurt and waved his fingers. "I remove the curse of the demon from Kurt Wagner's head!" He winked slyly, and Kurt caught on.  
  
He turned his image inducer back on and exclaimed happily, "The curse is broken! I am back to normal!"  
  
"No!" Pietro waved his arms to get the crowd's attention. "It's a lie! Kurt is the real demon!"  
  
"No, I am!" Jack shouted over him.  
  
"It's a publicity stunt!" Kurt said even more loudly.  
  
"You're all crackpots!" someone yelled. Apparently many people were of the same opinion, because entire rows began to file out of the gymnasium.  
  
Jack glared at Pietro. "Get out," he said. Pietro did.  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said awkwardly. "But I still don't-"  
  
"My cousin is a mutant," Jack explained. "Sometimes you just have to..." he trailed off, staring into space. "Everybody here hates me," he continued, his eyes suddenly refocusing, "but I'm transferring to a new school next term anyway. So...bye."  
  
"Bye," Kurt said weakly. Jack turned to leave, and didn't look back. 


	11. Epilogue

The Brotherhood Against Mutant Fiends disbanded, because no one was interested in the ramblings of lunatics.  
  
Amy tried to rally the students to her cause again when she returned to school, but didn't have much luck because she was one of the loony ramblers.  
  
Jack Lander disappeared at the end of the school year.  
  
No court of law ever heard the Brotherhood case.  
  
Kelly had to go through the car-wash eight times to get off all of Kitty's artwork.  
  
Nobody admitted to ordering the Chinese food, and Evan never got paid back.  
  
Kitty framed the photograph and hung it in a long hallway with lots of room for future pictures.  
  
Evan did not, in fact, set a new record for longest drink from a water fountain.  
  
The students of Bayville High spent the entire next term trying to hold enough fundraisers to pay the plumber's bill.  
  
Mr. Sims, fortunately, completely forgot to research Kurt's alleged physical and emotional problems.  
  
Pietro and Tabitha got detention and skipped it. Their punishment for that was more detention, none of which they ever attended.  
  
The fires in the chemistry lab were put out. Not all *that* many people were really seriously hurt.  
  
Amicitia later wrote another story which sort of followed from this one.  
  
And you, having read the entire story, wrote a nice review and then went on your merry way.  
  
The End! 


End file.
